Lucy Meets the Strangler
by Sovereign64
Summary: Lucy has accidentally provoked Flare Corona and she's now in trouble. Can she find a bodyguard to protect her? ONESHOT


**__Summary: Lucy has accidentally provoked Flare Corona and she's now in trouble. Can she find a bodyguard to protect her?**

_**Lucy meets the Strangler**_

It was now 5.59 AM and it's almost opening time at the Fairy Tail guild. At the guild itself, a girl was holding her ticket up while staring at the ticket machine. She narrows her eyes as the clock ticks its way to 6 AM.

The girl was a 17 year old girl with blonde hair, tied to a side ponytail and has brown eyes and dressed in a white sleeveless shirt with a blue stripe, brown belt, blue skirt and black boots. Her name was Lucy Heartfilia.

"Wait for it…" She uttered as the clock is almost reaching 5.59 AM. But then, suddenly, the second hand stops, causing Lucy to widen her eyes and her mouth agape. But after a short while, the second hand starts moving again and the clock now strikes 6 AM.

Lucy immediately jumps up and inserts her ticket into the machine. She then turns around, made a huge smile, jumps into the air and spread out her-

**ON TIME PERCENTAGE: 100 PERCENT**

Arms in joy and celebration.

"Woohoo!" Lucy cheered as she lands back on the floor and does a victory pose. Cana Alberona then walks over to the ticket machine and groaned as she inserts her ticket into the ticket machine.

"Another day, another migraine." Cana deadpanned. She then chuckled to herself. "Ha ha. Migrai-"

**ON TIME PERCENTAGE: 12 PERCENT**

"Ine. Ha ha."

Lucy let out a sigh as she wipes off the sweat from her forehead. "Ah, isn't it great working and sitting around at Fairy Tail all day, Cana?" Lucy asked. When Cana doesn't respond, Lucy continued, "Huh? Isn't it Cana?"

"Yes." Cana said, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Yeah huh?" Lucy said.

"Yesh." Cana narrows her eyes.

"Oh yeah huh?"

"YES!" Cana yelled, now sounding ticked off.

"Hold that thought, Cana!" Lucy holds up her hand, then looks at her watch. "I'm doing the parking lot for early morning litter patrol." She narrows her eyes and salutes. "May Mavis shine brightly on my harvest." She laughed as she walks out of the guild.

Lucy now leaves the guild, dressed in her litter patrol uniform and skirt. She sees a litter on the ground and frowned. "Litter." She said as she picks it up with her spear. She then holds it up and says to the litter, "Looks like someone miss the trash can, eh Mr. Candy Wrapper?" She chuckled. "Kids, these days."

Suddenly, she gasped as she sees another litter ball rolls over to her. She quickly picks it up with her spear and cried, "I never seen such an epidemic!" A smile then appears on her face. "But at least it's all over now."

Suddenly, another litter ball flies over to her feet and Lucy gasped. "She quickly picks it up but then suddenly, another litter ball appears and she picks that one up too. However, as she picks up one litter ball, another one appears and she picks it up. She kept picking the litter balls up until her spear is full and Lucy stops to catch her breath. However, a few seconds later, a litter ball flew down with a parachute and lands on the ground.

This causes Lucy to snap and angrily yell at the top of her lungs, "WHERE IS ALL OF THIS LITTER COMING FROM?"

She then turns her head and sees a woman with long red hair and dressed in a dark red dress sitting at her convertible crumbling a wrapper and throwing it away. Lucy's mouth agape as the wrapper lands on the ground.

"Not on my watch." Lucy narrows her eyes and grits her teeth angrily.

She angrily walks over to the woman and yelled at her, "Ma'am, I'll have you know that it's against the law to litter!"

The woman snorted and said, "Oh yeah? What are you going to do? Arrest me?"

Suddenly, several policemen appeared and surround the woman. The woman yelped in surprise while Lucy smirked and said, "Yes."

The policemen then get the woman out of her car and they handcuffed her wrists, her thumbs, her ankles, her thighs and even her ears.

As Lucy watched the policemen cuffed her in satisfaction, Cana walks over to her and asked, "How's it going, Lieutenant?"

"Well, all I can say is that let's hope our miss litterbug there will learn her lesson not to throw trash around around town." Lucy said, gesturing Cana to the woman before chuckling.

"Heh. Whatever." Cana turns to the woman and gasped in horror. "Lucy! Do you have any idea who that woman is?"

"Who?" Lucy asked.

"That's Flare Corona AKA The Tattletale Strangler!" Cana said in terror.

"Flare who?" Lucy said, still confused.

Cana then shows her a wanted poster of her and said to her, "Flare Corona! She promised to strangle anyone who turns her in?"

Lucy then turns to Flare, who glances back at her and gave her a ferocious snarl. Lucy and Cana yelped and inch away.

"She does look really angry, eh Cana?" Lucy asked. But when she turns her head, Cana is gone. "Cana?"

A policeman named Jellal Fernandes then pushes Flare into the police car and said sternly as he closes the door, "You're gonna do time, Flare. **Hard** time."

"Hi officers." Lucy said nervously as she walks over to Jellal and his partner Ultear. "So, she's going to jail right?"

"Who? Miss Corona?" Ultear asked.

"Yeah her."

"Oh don't worry. She's gonna be lock up away for a very long time." Ultear said. Lucy then sees Flare drawing something on the seat's headrest. Flare then turns the headrest around and shows her that she drew a portrait of Lucy's face.

"Hey, that looks like me." Lucy pointed out as Jellal and Ultear turns to Flare. The three watched as Flare then growls ferociously as she smashes and crushes the headrest. After she's done damaging it, she laughed maliciously as the portrait of Lucy's face turned into Lucy's face being crushed and bruised.

Lucy screamed in horror as she sees this.

"Don't worry Lucy." Ultear assured her with a smile. "She won't be able to strangle you." This causes Lucy to calm down and smile a bit.

"Yeah, we got her chained up real good." Jellal smirked. "She will never get away." He and Ultear then turn back to their police car and gasp when they see that the door is open and all the cuffs and chains are unlocked.

"Oops. Not again." Ultear said.

"Yup, she got away." Jellal added.

Lucy shrieked before she faints. After a short while, she regain consciousness and rubs her head as she rose up from the ground. "You nice officers will protect me, right?" She asked Jellal and Ultear.

"Sorry Lucy, we aren't bodyguards." Ultear said apologetically as she and Jellal got back into their car.

"Yeah." Jellal said as he starts up the car. "Give us a call if you ever see him again, **tattletale**."

Lucy froze as Jellal said the last word while the two drove off. She then said nervously to herself. "Those two are right. I need a bodyguard."

She then runs back into the guild and visits Erza who is sitting at the bar.

"Erza!" Lucy cried as she runs over to her. "There's a maniac on the loose and she wants to strangle me! I need someone strong like you to protect me!"

Erza laughed as she gets up from her seat. "Of course I will protect you Lucy." Lucy smiled as Erza proudly places her fist on her chest. "I am the strongest mage in this guild and if anyone tries to strangle any of my friends, I will crush him or her like a twig!"

"That's great!" Lucy said in relief.

"So um, who is this person you want me to protect you from?" Erza asked as she places her hands on her hips.

"Oh it's this woman right here." Lucy said as she holds up a wanted poster of Flare to Erza.

Erza immediately gasped in horror upon seeing Flare's portrait. "Flare Corona? The Tattletale Strangler?" Lucy watched as Erza shrieked in horror and transforms herself into a Rubik's Cube, literally. "Please! I don't wish to go near her! Find somebody else!"

Lucy frowned and let out a sigh. Not even the great Erza Scarlet can help her.

* * *

><p>Throughout the rest of the day, Lucy tries to find someone tough to protect her from Flare. She went to see Laxus Dreyar who was exercising with some weights. Lucy explained to him about her current situation and shows him the wanted poster of Flare. Laxus sees Flare's portrait and immediately, he covers himself with his cape and runs off scared.<p>

Next, Lucy went to see Elfman Strauss who is exercising by carrying two huge crates of nails and metal on each arm. Lucy explains to Elfamn about her situation but when she shows him Flare's portrait, Elfman gasped and quickly puts down his crates and hides himself in one of them.

Next, Lucy went to visit the Sabretooth guild and explained to everyone about her situation. But after explaining, all the Sabretooth guild members screamed in horror as they ran out of the guild completely scared.

"No! Please!" Sting cried.

"Stay her away from me!" Rufus shrieked.

"AHHHHH!" Rogue screamed like a girl.

Lucy then walks out of the guild with a sad frown. Not even the strongest guild in Fiore can help her.

* * *

><p>It's almost dawn and Lucy sat at a bench letting out a sigh of defeat."Oh Mavis, it's hopeless." She said in defeat. "It looks like I have to leave town until I can find a bodyguard."<p>

"Bodyguard, you say?" A voice said. Lucy turns her head and sees a woman reading a newspaper while sitting at another bench. "I might be able to help you out."

"You don't understand!" Lucy cried as she walks over to the woman. "I need protection from the scariest woman in all of Fiore! Flare Corona!" She holds up her wanted poster to the woman.

The woman lowers the newspaper and reveals herself to be Flare herself, except now she's wearing a long black hair wig, a pair of glasses and a fake moustache.

Flare looks at her own wanted poster and laughed. "Haha, she doesn't look so tough."

"I tattled on her!" Lucy said as she turns around, her back facing Flare. "And now she wants to strangle me! I wish her hands weren't dirty…" Lucy shivered as she said her last sentence.

Flare then holds up her own hands and sees that her hands are rotten and her nails are broken. She laughed maniacally before she gets up and stands behind Lucy. But before she could strangled her, a bus drives by and stops next to them.

Flare gasped as she sees this and quickly put her hands away and whistled innocently. The bus then drives away. Flare narrows her eyes and rubs her knuckles. "There's too many witnesses around here." She said to herself.

Flare then said to Lucy, who turns to her. "Listen ma'am, I can be your bodyguard. Here's my card." Flare then gives Lucy her identification card. Lucy looks at it and sees at Flare's photo and name. Unaware that she scribbles out her name and writes "Bodyguard" and she drew her hair black and added a pair of glasses and a huge moustache on her photo.

"Hmmm….interesting." Lucy said. She turns to Flare with a smile. "You're hired!"

"Great!" Flare said, smiling evilly.

"I feel safer already!" Lucy smiled.

"Okay listen." Flare said as she wraps an arm around Lucy and whispers into her ear. "This woman may be very sneaky so she could be hiding anywhere, putting on a disguise."

Flare then points at a random old lady. "She could be that old lady!" She then turns her head and points at a baby sitting in a pram with a woman holding the bars. "Or that baby!"

"Or that pebble!" Lucy cried as she points at a rock on the ground. She then turns around and points at a stick. "Or that stick!" She then goes over to a receipt lying on the ground. "Or that receipt from the wig and fake moustache emporium!"

"Huh?" Flare yelped in surprise and quickly picks up the receipt. "Oh, that's mine!"

"Oh bodyguard." Lucy sighed in relief. "My body is in your guarding hands. What do we do first?"

"Well, I suggest we go to a nice, quiet, secluded place where no one can find us. Like a dumpster or a dark alley." Flare suggested.

"We can go to my apartment and turn off all the lights!" Lucy said as she wraps an arm around Flare.

"Excellent!" Flare smiled maliciously. "That way, no one can hear you being **strangled!**" Lucy backs away while Flare yelps, realizing her mistake. "Oh I mean, protected." She made an innocent smile and pats Lucy on the back.

Flare then turns her eyes away and secretly laughed evilly as she rubs her hands. "Perfect….muahahahaha….BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh yeah, it's really good! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Lucy said, laughing and rubbing her hands as well, thinking what Flare is saying right now is a joke.

The two girls laughed manically as they raise their hands in the air. After aw while, Lucy calmed down and said to Flare, "But first, I need to do some errands."

"Huh?" Flare stops her laughing and looks down at Lucy. She groaned and folds her arms. "Fine, but make it quick!" She said annoyed.

"Quick is my middle name." Lucy smiled as she salutes.

* * *

><p>Flare follows Lucy through the supermarket. They both stop when Lucy sees the toilet rolls. "Ah yes, the toilet rolls!" She said as she grabs two of them. She examines the two she is holding. "Hmmmm, this is one says the best toilet roll around. And this one says the best toilet in town." She hummed as she tries to decide which one she should buy.<p>

"What do you think bodyguard? Which one should I buy?" Lucy asked Flare.

Flare sighed in annoyance and said, "Whichever takes us to your apartment faster!"

"Okay! I'll just take both of them!" Lucy said as she puts both toilet rolls into her trolley.

* * *

><p>Lucy and Flare are now at the laundry. Sherry comes back while holding Lucy's signature sleeveless white shirt with blue stripe and blue skirt. "Here you go, Lucy-san!" Sherry smiled.<p>

Lucy rubs her chin as she examines her clothing.

"Is there something wrong?" Sherry asked in concern.

"I'm not sure if this is my clothing." Lucy said. Flare groaned and rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p>Lucy and Flare are now at the perfume shop. Lucy grabs one and sprays it at her hand. She sniffs it and it smells like lavender. She then holds up her hand to Flare who has an extremely annoyed look on her face.<p>

"What do you think bodyguard? Does this smell nicer than dandelions?" Lucy said.

"CAN WE JUST GO TO YOUR APARTMENT ALREADY?" Flare shouted.

* * *

><p>Later, Lucy and Flare are carrying the shopping bags containing everything Lucy has bought the entire day and they both finally arrived at Lucy's apartment.<p>

"Here it is! My apartment!" Lucy smiled, introducing Flare her apartment. She then turns to Flare and said, "Bodyguard, let me just say to you that I am very grateful for what you are doing for me. Nobody is brave enough to portect me from the strangler except you and I'm very glad to have met you."

"Yes. Thank you." Flare said, sounding impatient. "Now, open the door to your apartment so that we can get inside and let me **strangle **you." She gasped as her mistake again. "I mean protect you."

"No problem, **Flare."** Lucy gasped at her 'mistake'. "I mean bodyguard."

Flare's mouth agape. How idiotic is this girl? She knows who she really is and yet she stills sees her as her bodyguard.

"First, I need to get my keys." Lucy then digs into her pockets and searches for her keys. However, there's no such luck at all.

_**35 MINUTES LATER…**_

Flare is now shaking furiously and impatiently as Lucy continues digging into her pocket. "No, sorry bodyguard. I think I lost them." She said. "Can you search them in my other pocket for me?"

"Oh forget the keys! Let's try entering into your apartemtn through your indows!" Flare yelled as she goes over to the windows. She reached out her hand and stand at her toes but she couldn't reach the windows. "Dammit! I can't reach them!" She turns to Lucy. "Lucy, can you help me?"

"Sure! With these cleats I'm wearing, anything is possible!" Lucy said while wearing her soccer cleats. She then jumps up.

"Cleats?" Flare widens her eyes in horror. Then, Lucy lands on her face and her cleats pierced through Flare's eyeballs. Flare screamed in pain and horror as she couldn't see a thing.

"Get off! Get off of me! It hurts!" Flare cried in pain.

Lucy tries to get off but her cleats are stuck. "I'm trying but my cleats are stuck into your eyes!" Lucy cried.

Flare continues screaming in pain as she runs around like a maniac on drugs.

_**5 HOURS LATER…**_

Flare stops screaming and pulls Lucy's cleats out of her eyes. Tears flow down Flare's cheeks as her eyes are completely red.

* * *

><p>Flare sobbed as her eyes are now bandaged. Lucy pats her back to comfort her. "Don't be sad, bodyguard. We can just use the spare key which I always hide under the carpet." She said before walking away.<p>

This causes Flare to widen her eyes and her bandages pop out. She then and shakes violently and fumes angrily. That does it! Lucy's stupidity has made her reach her limits! Once they go inside the apartment, she's going to rip Lucy apart big time!

Lucy then takes out the spare key from the carpet and inserts into the keyhole. Lucy smiled as she hears the door being unlocked.

"Great! I've unlock it!" She said. Flare smiled evilly from behind.

The two girls now enter the apartment and the entire place is dark.

"Here we are bodyguard. Alone together." Lucy said.

"Close the door." Flare grinned like a shark as she closes the door and locks it.

"And now we are safe!" Lucy smiled as she spread out her arms.

"I finally have you all for myself!" Flare laughed evilly as she goes closer to Lucy.

"I know! It's hilarious!" Lucy laughed as well. She laughs harder as Flare then grabs her by her arms and lifts her up in the air.

"I'm going to rip you apart big time, tattletale!" Flare yelled. But before she could do her worse, the lights suddenly turn on, revealing all of Lucy's friends hiding behind the shadows.

"SURPRISE!" The entire Fairy Tail guild yelled as Gray and Wendy holds up a banner that says, _**"Congratulations Lucy on your 100 Percentage on time!"**_

Flare's jaw dropped as she drops Lucy to the ground. Lucy squealed in excitement before saying to the guild, "Oh wow! A party to celebrate my 100 percentage on time? How do you know?"

"We just follow the invitation you gave us!" Natsu said, holding up the invitation. "Let's party!"

Lucy, Natsu, Happy, Gray, Wendy, Charle, Juvia, Gajeel, Levy, Cana, Erza, Mirajane, Lisanna, Elfman, Bisca, Laxus, Freed, Evergreen, Bickslow, Romeo and Makarov all cheered as they all start partying the day away. Meanwhile, Flare looks depressed as she goes over to a chair and sits down. Looks like she's going to have to wait a little longer before she can strangle Lucy.

* * *

><p>Hours later, the party has finally ended and Lucy says farewell to her friends.<p>

"Bye! Thanks for coming!" She said as she waved goodbye. "Bye Natsu, bye Happy, bye Gray, bye Erza, bye Wendy, bye Makarov, bye Mirajane, bye Juvia, bye Gajeel, bye Cana, bye Levy, bye everybody else!"

After everyone has left, Lucy closes the door and locks it. "Haha! Alone at last!"

"It is over?" Flare asked as she goes over to Lucy.

"Yup." Lucy nods her head, Flare then smirks evilly.

"In that case….BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Flare starts laughing manically again. This causes Lucy to laugh as well.

"I know. It's funny. Hahahahaha!" Lucy laughed. Suddenly, the two stop as the doorbell rang. Flare drops her jaw while Lucy turns around and opens thwe door, revealing the Fairy Tail guild again.

"Happy birthday Lucy!" Thee guild cried.

"How do you guys know?" Lucy smiled.

"We just follow the invitation you send us. Let's party some more!" Natsu yelled before everybody gets back into Lucy's apartment and they all party again.

Flare groaned as she goes back to her seat as everybody parties the day away again. She's going to have to wait a little more longer.

* * *

><p>After the party is over and everybody left again, Lucy waved goodbye. "Bye! Thanks for coming!"<p>

She then closes the door and locks it. "Alone again!"

"Is it true?" Flare asked anxiously as she walks over to Lucy. "No more parties, no more friends coming over, we are both alone."

"Yup." Lucy nods.

"In that case!" Flare grins like a shark as she holds up Lucy. But suddenly, the lights turn out and Natsu appears between the two of them.

"Great party, eh Lucy?" He asked with a smirk.

"What?" Flare yelled. She then said to Natsu in annoyance. "Oh no! You are not allowed in here!" She picks Natsu up and pushes him away while Lucy goes after her.

"Hey! Don't worry bodyguard! We can trust Natsu, he's my best friend." She said.

"Oh no! I'm not taking any chances." Flare shakes hr head. "Besides, he could be Flare Corona!"

"I'm Flare Corona?" Natsu widens his eyes. "Oh I should have known! I have to turn myself in!" Natsu then runs out of the apartment and burst through the walls.

"So Natsu is Flare. Gee, who would have thought?" Lucy said, placing her hands on her hips. At this point, Flare is shaking and fuming violently. Lucy's stupidity has really reach her limits.

This causes Flare to yell at the top of her lungs at her, "HE'S NOT FLARE CORONA!"

"He's not?" Lucy asked.

Flare then removes the wig, glasses and moustache, revealing her true self. "I AM!" She shouted.

"Hey, how do you do that without using shaving cream?" Lucy asked in awe.

"Oh, it's a fake you idiot!" Flare yelled. "I just bought these from some party shop!"

Suddenly, the entire Fairy Tail guild appeared in Lucy's apartment again. "Did someone say party?" Makarov asked.

Flare screamed. She can't take this anymore! She runs out of the apartment and bursts through the walls like Natsu did earlier.

Flare then runs over to a taxi and says to the driver, "Sir! Step on it! I'm being chased by some idiotic maniac!" She gets into the taxi and the taxi drives off.

"Wait! Bodyguard! Come back! I need protection!" Lucy yelled as she runs after Flare.

The taxi then arrives at an airport and Flare got into a plane and flew off.

Flare sighed in relief as she lies back on her plane seat. "Finally, I'm away from that maniac." She said.

"Good thinking bodyguard!" Lucy said. Flare turns her head and gasps in horror to see Lucy sitting right next to her. "Flare will never get us if we leave the country!"

Flare screamed as she grabs a parachute bag and jumps out of the plane she was in. She then releases her chute and floats gently thought the air. She smiles happily.

"Good thinking bodyguard." Lucy said. Flare looks up and drops her jaw as she sees that the parachute she's using is Lucy herself.

"Flare could have been on that plane." Lucy smiled. Flare then uses a piar of scissors and cuts off the parachute. Flare then plummets through the sky and crashes into a prison building. She lands inside a cell and grabs the metal bars.

"Bodyguard! I need you!" Lucy said as she goes over to Flare's cell.

"Look Lucy! I AM NOT YOUR BODYGUARD!" Flare then wailed in despair. She wipes off her tears and gestures to the wanted poster next to her. "I'm Flare Corona! See?" Lucy then looks at Flare and her wanted poster together and she gasped in horror.

"AHHH! FLARE CORONA!" Lucy screamed.

"Great work Lucy!" Ultear said. Lucy turns around and sees Ultear and Jellal smiling at her. "You put the strangler behind bars."

Lucy chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Flare sighed in relief. "At least I'm finally away from that idiot girl." She said.

"Hey." A voice said. Flare turns around and sees Natsu sitting at his bed.

"What did you do to get yourself in here?" Natsu asked.

**THE END**


End file.
